Dear Diary, mark it down. October 13th, 1986 is officially the worst day of my life. Everything sucks. Everything is wicked bad and it sucks. School is a nightmare. Today, I got my period on the balance beam and nobody told me and everybody saw. Now, everyone’s calling me ‘Lamey Poehler’. And then my mom found my beer in the laundry hamper and she had a wicked hissy fit so now she’s not letting me go to see Bon Jovi with opening act cinderella! Now my dream of Jon Bon Jovi seeing me in the crowd and taking me away from this miserable life is ruined! I hate my life! I gotta get my hair higher!
Ever wanted to be nearly impaled by a flying blade on New York public access?
You’d love The Chris Gethard Show!
I have. And I do.
RIP JAN HOOKS <3